First day

Today was Jake's first day of going to preschool without me. It was only for 45 min as they are trying to ease the kids into it. Of course he woke this morning with a cold and not feeling well. He was sneezing and had a runny nose, which isn't a great combination for a kid that doesn't like having his nose wiped. He seemed pretty tired, and wasn't his usual happy self. We met JT outside the school and went in together. I could tell from the moment I took him out of the car that he want going to have the best day. He usually greets me with a big smile when I open the car door, but today he gave a little whine. He was clingy from the moment we entered the classroom. When we were there last week for the meet and greet he was eager to explore the room and check it the toys. Today he had no interest in anything but sitting with me. I said a quick goodbye and left him with JT and his other teachers.
    When I went to pick him up the director met us at the door and told us about their day. They did some free play and a little art  project, then a short circle time. At least the other kids did. Apparently J cried most of the time and stayed attached to JT. I know that his not feeling well played a big part in the rough day he had. I didn't expect him to be able to participate in everything, but I didn't think he would be upset the entire time. I am hoping his little cold will be gone by next week and that he will have a better time at school. He has spent time without me at the gym child care room and was fine after the first couple of times, so I am confident he well do well here also.
    I entered the classroom with another mom. JT was holding J and he was whimpering a bit, looking sad. It broke my heart a bit to see him that way. At the same time another little boy, who is a bit younger than J, came running over to his mom with his art project proudly in his hands, eager to show her. The other children were sitting at a table playing with toys. This tugged at my heartbit too. Will J be able to do his art projects one day? Will he ever have that desire to share his accomplishments with me? Will he sit at the table and play with the other kids? There are so many unanswered questions swirling through my head, and I need to make sure I don't become consumed by them. Today he came running to me for a hug, and we had some great cuddles. I find comfort in his affection, and that feeling of love from him gets me through the tough times. Yes there are many unknowns, but for now I will focus on the here and now, and relish in these precious moments with my sweet boy.