Radio Silence

     Well, after a false start in December, I think I am finally ready to start blogging again. For real this time (I hope LOL). I wrote in December about suffering from a bit of burnout. I had immersed myself into the world of autism and of trying learn all I could to help my son. And while I didn't slow down in my quest to do what is best for Jake, I did take a step back from the blogging world. I thought I was ready to return, but I guess I needed a bit more time. I think there were a couple of reasons for my silence. I will touch a bit on them, and then move on with my blog.
     When I first started this blog I had visions of writing a tremendous success story. I had read many blogs written by parents who watched their children suddenly thrive once they had therapies in place. Their children went from being nonverbal to gaining language and communication skills. Improvements were made in all areas, and everyone was amazed with their sudden progress. I also read several blogs written by parents whose children didn't reach this level of improvement, but I chose to focus on the "success" stories. (Not that ALL of the children didn't have successes of their own, but you know what I mean here). I was convinced that once we had all of J's therapies in place that we would suddenly see these marked improvements in his overall functioning. After sifting through the therapies available I came up with a plan of action, got his therapists in place, enrolled him in a pre-school 2 days a week, switched ST's, and waited. I waited to hear his voice. I waited for the day I could write my first "success" story blog post - the day J said his first word.  I continued to write blog posts and continued to follow along with my favorite mommy bloggers. As I waited I found myself wondering why. Why wasn't J seeing the improvements that these other children were seeing? When were his "words" going to come? Surely it would be any day now. So I waited a bit longer. And I am still waiting. And I eventually stopped writing because I think it was a bit hard for me not to be writing our "success" stories.
     But I realize that I need to stop waiting and relish in the here and now. Because J HAS had great successes. He has made many great improvements, and my pride in him grows every day. (And I owe him a nice big blog post about all of these amazing milestones he has reached) He is such a hard worker and such a little trooper for putting up with everything that we throw at him each day. I don't want to minimize the strides he has made and continues to make each day. And yes, I do realize that language isn't everything. And I understand that even if he does start talking it doesn't mean that all is suddenly right in the world. And J is an individual and it is not fair to compare him to other children. Logically I know all of these things. But sometimes I let myself lose sight of it all and get a bit wrapped up in my own head. I am going to make a conscience effort focus on the positives and on all of the strides my little man is making. Because, really, look at this face :)