When I was pregnant I bought a couple of different baby books. You know, the kind filled with things like first smile, first bath, when baby started sitting, crawling, walking, etc. I was excited to fill them up with all of the wonderful things that my child to be was going to do. Of course, as I think happens with many new moms, I wasn't as diligent with filling them out in the beginning. A month or 2 (or three or four) would go by and I would realize I hadn't written in the book for a while. Using my wonderful mommy memory, and the assistance of pics and videos, I would go back and make note of milestones such as eating solids for the first time or describing Jake's cute little one-armed belly crawl. At some point I realized that I was at a standstill and couldn't fill out more of the book. I neglected it for quite a while. Today I was going through some things and came upon the book. Flipping through the pages I got to the blank section. The areas lines for "first word", "first time saying mommy and daddy", "how I ask for milk, cookie, etc", and even "first time I gave a kiss" are all still blank, along with many others. Now I remember why I haven't picked up the book for a while. What is supposed to be a book filled with happy memories (and don't get me wrong, there are still MANY happy memories in there), also serves as a reminder of some of the struggles we are having. And it makes me stop to wonder if I'll ever be able to fill in those blanks. Will I ever hear that beautiful little voice say "mommy"? Will I ever feel those soft lips kiss my cheeks? I hear so many moms complain about their kids constantly calling their name or whining about this or that. I promise that if/when I ever hear my sweet boy call me mom I will never ask him to stop.
I think it's time to start writing our own book of "firsts". We may not be on the same schedule as others, and we may celebrate some "simple" accomplishments that would go unnoticed by others, but we still have a lot to take note of. My little man is learning and doing more each day. Instead of dwelling on what he's NOT doing, I need to make sure to relish in what he IS. And he is a smart, loving, silly, happy, smiling little boy who never ceases to amaze me. I don't need a bunch of completed "blanks" to prove that.
I think it's time to start writing our own book of "firsts". We may not be on the same schedule as others, and we may celebrate some "simple" accomplishments that would go unnoticed by others, but we still have a lot to take note of. My little man is learning and doing more each day. Instead of dwelling on what he's NOT doing, I need to make sure to relish in what he IS. And he is a smart, loving, silly, happy, smiling little boy who never ceases to amaze me. I don't need a bunch of completed "blanks" to prove that.
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