Doctor visits, Baths and Haircuts Part 2

 Another source of major stress for J has been the bath. He has pretty much cried for every bath since day one. When he was an infant we would bathe him in padded baby tub in the kitchen sink. He would cry from start to finish. I always thought (hoped) that he would enjoy baths better when we were able to put him in the tub. All of my friends with small children would tell me how much their little ones loved bag time, and how it was a relaxing and enjoyable part of their bed time routine. I had hoped that we would be able to experience that with J as well. When he was 10 months old we moved to our current house which had a nice bathtub for him. I had visions of him happily splashing and playing in the water while we bathed him. Yeah, not so much. He would stiffen his body so that we couldn't even sit him in the  tub. And he would get himself so worked up he would do that cry where he doesn't breathe for a few seconds - you know the one. Eventually my husband had to get in the tub with him. He holds him in front of himself as J screams while I try to wash him as well as I can.  A far cry from an enjoyable experience. We have also tried the shower, with DH bringing him in. We didn't fare any better with that, and a screaming, writhing J is extra slippery when wet. After a few months I got the idea to bring our netbook in the bathroom and I would play Bubble Guppies. This worked for a few weeks. He would calm down enough to watch his show, and we were able to get him pretty clean. Unfortunately, and I'm not sure why, but this eventually stopped working and he went back to screaming.  Needless to say, bath time is anything but relaxing and enjoyable.
     I am having a hard time pinpointing just what it is that J hates so much about baths. We bought him a water table this summer in an effort to get him more comfortable with the water. He LOVES it. He will play in the water for half an hour, splashing away and even dumping water on his head, chest, etc. So it doesn't seem to be the water itself he is afraid of. He even shocked us this summer and walked right into a local wading pool on 2 separate occasions.  I thought maybe it was the tub itself. But one day he walked into the bathroom and tried climbing into the tub. I picked him up and put him in and he walked around playing with all of the tub toys that he won't even glance at when we are trying to bathe him. So the tub doesn't seem to be the issue. I considered that maybe he doesn't like being naked, but if he's not getting a bath he loves running around in the buff. I fill the tub when he is downstairs so he isn't hearing the water rushing in. I have tried having the water ankle height and a bit higher and have played with the temperature of the water a bit. So far the right combination eludes me. I really wish I could figure out what it is that causes J so much anxiety. I feel awful hearing him scream and cry and be so obviously stressed out. And it definitely doesn't do anything for my stress level. There are some definite sensory issues here, I just need to figure out what they are. Unfortunately, baths are not optional, the little pigpen needs to get clean.
    I have a new plan we are going to try this weekend. The shower in the master bath is a fairly large walk-in. I am going to get a rubber mat to put on the floor (to make is less slippery) and then put his water table in the shower. I figure we can do baby steps and see if he will play with the water in there. And while he is playing I will do my best to wash and rinse him. I have no idea if it will work or not, but at this point I am willing to try anything!

After one of his first baths

And the stunned aftermath

    The last thing that causes J stress and anxiety is getting a haircut. Fortunately these don't occur as frequently as baths :) To date J has had 4 haircuts. The first one was just after his first birthday. I took him to one of those kids cuts places. There was a play area with a bunch of toys. J played mostly happily, but started to get a bit cranky as we had to wait longer than expected. When it came time for his haircut they tried sitting him on a type of  horse seat, like you would ride outside of a department store. He wasn't very balanced and needless to say he hated  it. I ends up holding him on my lap. As soon as the woman tried coming towards him with the scissors he lost it. He was wiggling and crying and wound up turned facing me. Somehow the woman was able to cut his hear while he was flailing around. It was not an enjoyable experience for anyone involved. J was miserable and crying, and I was stressed that his ear would get chopped while she was cutting his hair. Luckily we all made it out in one piece. I decided I would never take him to get a haircut by myself again.

Before haircut #1

and after :)

   The second haircut happened while we were visiting my in-laws in Florida. As I was snapping pics of J on the beach it became painfully obvious that he was in need of another haircut. I found a kiddie hair cutting place and off we went. This time I had back up - my husband and mother in law. We also had out trusty net book loaded with Bubble Guppies. This salon had a little plane for J to sit in. It was a more stable seat than the horse. J actually ok for a few seconds at the beginning and I was able to distract him a bit with the Guppies. He became increasingly upset, but again he was able to get his haircut unscathed.

At the beach before haircut #2

Sitting in his plane waiting 

Swinging at the park on the way home :)

 
    Haircuts #3 & 4 happened at a different kids cuts place near our house, with similar results. Again, I made sure to have my husband and some Bubble Guppies on hand. There is a small toy area, so I always make sure to arrive a few minutes early so that J has some time to relax and play. This weekend when we went it was much the same as his previous visits. He is ok for the first few minutes, but gets increasingly upset as the hair cut progresses. The Bubble Guppies become a bit useless as by that point he's really not paying attention to anything but trying to get out of the chair. Luckily the woman who cuts his hair is very speedy and confident. I would be terrified of going at a flailing boy with scissors, but she is great at it. Our appointment was at 9:30 and we were in the car and on our way home by 9:38. Getting his haircut is definitely not one of J's favorite things, but luckily they only happen every few months or so.

The day before his last much needed haircut

and enjoying his post-cut sucker :)

SpeechHero

Since J is still nonverbal, we have been starting to use PECS with him. (I will write another post about exactly what PECS are soon) With all of the new technology out there, especially the iPad, there are many Apps coming out that help nonverbal people communicate. I have been researching these various app, trying to pick the one that will be the best fit for J. I am thinking that the SpeechHero app sounds like the best fit for us. An awesome site The iMums is doing a giveaway for the app. Cross your fingers - I am entering for J. Hopefully we will win! If we do I'll write up a review of the app here. Here's a link to the giveaway if you want to check it out for yourself!
SpeechHero AAC giveaway

Doctor visits, Baths and Haircuts Part 1

    There are 3 things in life that J hates and that cause him stress. They are baths, doctor visits, and haircuts. We got to experience all 3 this weekend. Lucky us LOL
    J had his 2 year well visit today. We saw the same NP we saw for his 18 month well check she was the first person to recommend that we have J evaluated for Autism. I am thankful every day that she didn't take the "wait and see" approach. I had called early intervention after his 15 month visit. They had approved him for speech and a SEIT once a week, but no one ever mentioned autism. I had my suspicions, and was thankful that my concerns weren't brushed aside. I credit her for getting the ball rolling. She was happy to see J today, and was pleased with his progress over the past 6 months. Going over his accomplishments was definitely the highlight of our visit. The rest, not so much.
    J has always hated being weighed and measured at the doctor's office. I can't say I blame him, as getting on the scale often makes me want to cry, but I'd like to think I handle it a bit better ;)  They make us strip him down to his diaper, and put him on the scale. He has always cried for this, and it has become increasingly difficult the stronger and larger he has gotten. Once he was able to sit on the scale he started trying to climb off and get to me. They always make me step away in an effort to keep him from reaching out to me, but that doesn't really work. He cries, he screams, and he gets himself completely worked up. Our current pediatrician's office doesn't use a digital scale, so it usually takes then a few minutes to get a weight on him. I was hopeful for today's visit since once they hit 2 they have the children stand on the scale. Unfortunately he still had to strip down to his diaper. I don't know if this was the cause of hits stress or not, but he was NOT standing on that scale. We tried sitting him on the other scale, but that just increases his anxiety. In the end my husband had to hold him and stand in the scale, then he had to stand on it by himself and they find the difference. Thank goodness he had the day off today, as I may have busted out the tears myself  if I had to do that! Since they couldn't get a height off of him from the scale, we had to lay him on the table, which he hated equally a much. Again I was thankful to have DH with me, as I often feed off if J's anxiety and stress a bit myself. We were to distract him for a while with some Bubble Guppies, and he was calm and happy while we chatted with the NP. All was going fine until shot time. He had a flu shot and a finger prick to test for lead. Needless to say, he was not happy for either of those. I can understand crying for the needles. I wish there was something I could do to ease his anxiety over stepping on the scale. He isn't due for any sites at his next 2 visits, so hopefully they will go more smoothly. We have 6 months to prepare.

Getting weighed at 1 month

and 1 year

    

Breaking up is hard to do

One of the (many) things I don't miss about dating is the break-up. You meet someone, let them into your life, have some fun and make some memories. Then one day you (or one of you) realize that things aren't quite working out the way you had hoped and you decide it's time to end things. I have always hated that part of a relationship. Now that I am married and have a family I thought I was done with break ups. Luckily there is no break-up as far as my marriage is concerned, but there is another relationship tha has to come to an end - the one between out family and J's speech therapist.
    J has had his current ST since around the beginning of June. After receiving his PDD-NOS diagnosis, I had decided I wanted to give DIR/Floortime a chance. At the time J was only receiving ST and a SEIT once a week each. As we were approved for an increase to 3 days per week, I also requested a change in providers. We switched from more "traditional" therapists to a team trained in Floortime. We also added on an OT who also practiced Floortime.  J and I quickly developed a rapport with his new teachers, and I found them to be very knowledgeable and invested in their jobs. J really seemed to like them and worked easily with them. As the summer went on and I continued to research, I made the decision to switch to an ABA based program. J started with his new SEIT, JT, at the beginning of September. His ST and OT  remained the same. I definitely see value in Floortime, and I feel that J has benefited, and will continue to benefit, from it. However, my husband and I both feel that he has been missing out on actual speech therapy. His speech sessions have all been FT based, which are completely child led. A majority of the sessions involve us following him around the house and trying to get him to engage with us. While I think that there is a place for this style,of therapy, I also feel that he needs some structured speech therapy. J is still nonverbal, and I want to make sure we do all we can to help him develop language.
    In the past month I have watched J thrive with the structure of his ABA sessions. I was nervous before it began, but he has impressed me with how well he has adjusted to the change is therapy styles. He is no longer trying to leave the room, and is sitting at the table for longer periods. JT has seen progress with his completion of tasks as well. While it may be slow, we are seeing progress.  In an effort to try to have him get more out of his ST sessions, we have decided to switch to a more traditional speech therapist. Actually, we will be switching to one that uses the Verbal Behavior Approach, which is essentially another form of ABA. I am hoping that we can build upon the success he has already had with ABA.

    Unfortunately switching to the new SLP also means losing our current one, which is where the break up comes in. I have really enjoyed working with her, and she has a wealth of knowledge about DIR/Floortime. She works so well with J and he really seems to like her as well. However it has been nagging at the back of my mind that I want to give a more structured form of ST another try. I found myself putting of making the switch because I felt guilty about switching therapists. I struggled with the decision for a few weeks, but in the end I realized that I can't worry about the feelings of others. I need to put J's best interest first and foremost, and do what I feel is best for him. With a heavy heart I made a call to our service coordinator to get the ball rolling for the switch to be made. Tomorrow will be J's last session with his current therapist, and his new SLP will start on Monday. I am grateful for all his current therapist has done for us, and I really feel she cares for J. I am confident that I am making the right decision, but I still feel a bit sad. And I wonder if having all of these people come in and out of J's life will have a negative effect on him. So far he has dealt with all of the transitions excellently. I hope that will be the case next week also.  So tomorrow we say goodbye to someone that has been part of out daily lives for the past 4.5months and get ready to welcome in someone new.  Hopefully our expectations will be exceeded.

Happy Birthday

2 years ago today we welcomed our little bundle of joy in to the world. Our lives have been better for it every day since. In honor of J's birthday, here's a little photo bomb :)

2 years old!!!

School Days

After getting off to a rocky start last week, J had a great day at preschool today! This was his first full 1.5hr day. I was a bit nervous about how he would do. On Tuesday when I dropped him off for an hour he was clingy and shed some tears when I left. JT said he stopped for a while and didn't start again till they put his coat on. He spent most of that day attached to JT.
    Today was better right from the start. When we arrived he immediately took off to explore and I was able to leave without any tears. JT said he played with some toys and that he was checking out the other kids. He sat on her lap at story time and didn't get antsy till the end. He also sat independently at the table and played with play-do, and sat and ate snack with all of his friends. He even did a hand over hand art project! At the end they went outside to play and JT said he ran all around. He was a little upset when they had to go back inside  so he was a little whiny when I picked him up, but  JT said that was his only fussy period. His preschool teachers said what a great job he did, and he even waved good-bye to them!
    After the short drive home J and JT went right upstairs and got to work. We both thought he might be too tired to do much, but she was able to get through some trials and he did well. I am so proud of J! He did such a great job with everything today, and I was impressed with him. It definitely gives me hope of great things to come.

jumping for joy

What part of "not talking" don't you understand?

Well-meaning family/acquaintance "Is J talking yet?"

Me "No, not yet"

WMF/A "He's saying a few words though, right?"

Me "No, he's not talking yet"

WMFM/A "He says mama and dada though, right?"

Me "No, he's not talking at all yet"

WMFM/A "oh..."   "insert change of subject here"